I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
