I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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