my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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