i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
