you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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