why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
