what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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