they need to just BURY HIM!
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I want her autograph on my taint
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
