i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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