dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
