Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
