She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
