He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
