OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
you would pick up someone in the library
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
