I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
