I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Congratulations! We have a period
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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