its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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