the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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