would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
we're making bets on your personal life
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
