Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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