but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
