i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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