this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
