Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
