i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
