I wannas sexs uuuuu
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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