If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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