What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
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