why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Randomize
