I cannot find my penis.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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