So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
