I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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