its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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