How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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