Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
