Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
