idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
