Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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