In the future we'll all be gay
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
