I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
