What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
