So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She needs sedatives and a leash
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
