Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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