Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
