Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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