Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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