u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
