i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
