Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
