i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
