Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
as a side note pls kill me
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
