32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
