I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
